On the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon,Comedian Lewis Black jokes about Congress’ approval rating and colonoscopies, which have been found to be more popular than Congress according to a recent poll. The common refrain is that nobody likes Congress, and a recent poll proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I understand the poll results. What puzzles me is that the same people who hate Congress, presumably voted them in! The 13% who claim to like Congress, are likely to be related in some way, and dependent upon their income. Americans hate Congress even more than lice and a plethora of other universally loathed things! The poll also showed that compared to Congress, we love colonoscopies – and no one likes them, except maybe Lewis Black, now that he’s had one.
If it sounds odd that Lewis Black is now an advocate of the dreaded medical procedure, his ‘public service announcement’ will leave you in stitches and feeling ‘almost’ as though you’ve been through one. Black leaves no detail untold and no indignity spared, leaving us with nothing to fear…Except perhaps for the night before, which promises to be one of the longest of your life. For insomniacs, it promises to be a refreshing sleep. For those whose doctors are too busy to knock you out, and they do still exist…Shop elsewhere!
Jimmy Fallon invites Mitt Romney to opine about President Obama’s second term, and the Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Romney is on a publicity junket to push the new Netflix bio “Mitt” in which they attempt to humanize the one percenter and his average American family of rollicking cut-ups.
Romney gave a truly stunning commentary on the topic of the Affordable Care Act, saying he’d been disappointed in the program. Aside from the technical difficulties, Romney predicted other crushing problems for Obamacare. According to Mitt, people will lose their current insurance, they won’t be able to keep their beloved doctor and premiums will go up. The Mittens said, “It won’t be real popular for a lot of folks.” It’s not perfect. I for one, would have liked if Obama had stuck to his guns with a single payer program – rather than this one, based upon RomneyCare. Has Mitt forgotten his crowning achievement in Massachusetts already?
I hope Obama never advocates puppies, hugs and sunshine; Republicans would surely denounce all three as costly, subversive and un-American.
Twitter mania and fine dining combine when Jimmy Fallon asks viewers to share their weirdest experience with a waiter, using the hash-tag #MyWeirdWaiter.
Pictured: Jimmy and The Roots find it necessary to toss the “Hot (air) Sax” back and forth when certain stories call for it. I promise I’ll only do one spoiler to illustrate.
Assuming you’re not Gordon Ramsey, chances are you hate eating alone, and try not to call attention to yourself when you do. Do you happen to loathe singing waiters too ? If you don’t now, I promise you would under the following situation.
If ever a singing waiter could not read his customer, it was the overly attentive visitor to a lone diner’s table. Each time the warbling waiter passed the solitary diner, he stopped to belt out the vein-opening anthem “All By Myself.” I was about to say that the waiter probably ‘entertained’ himself out of a tip. On second thought, had the solitary diner tipped him – before the meal was served, ‘To Insure Proper Silence’ they would both have been happy…Lesson learned.