This is where Republican dreams and nightmares come true, folks! The uniformity of the candidates is not left to chance. Do you look presidential? If not, you soon will. You’ll get all of the greatest talking points, and take all of the courses guaranteed to get you nominated, because that’s truly all that matters.
You’ll study such classic subjects as ‘Condescension to Cover Ignorance 101’
(Romney got an A+ on this one.) A must-pass course has been added in recent years, "Basics of Christianity" taught by Jesus himself – although they have always inserted a substitute at the last minute. Are you thinking about it? Come on in, almost everyone is welcome!