Gold: Dick Armey, Freedomworks and several other organizations, many of which exist for the public good, have been discovered by Think Progress to be involved in an elaborate long-term plan with petroleum giant BP. Not only will they advocate for off-shore drilling, good guys that they are, they’ll be laundering money right after cleaning sea-life from the recent oil spill!
Silver: Glenn Beck brings you Beck theater. The master of the teary eye, and dramatic pause gives an impressive dramatic reading, which appears for the uninitiated, to be a genuinely
emotional moment….. though without a playbill, we’ve no idea of who he might be portraying or why. Perhaps he’s auditioning for a soap opera role since being left out of the recent full page Fox News ad.
Bronze: Brittany Cantarella won’t soon forget the reason she won this award. Cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk, Ms Cantarella hit the man who hails from prosaic Belchertown, Massachusetts. She was forgiven by Lord Jesus Christ, if not the police department. Really…he did, there are witnesses!