FunnyOrDie: AYN BRAN Cereal by Ayn Rand. Free Gun, Paul Ryan Endorsed

Ayn Bran Cereal by Ayn Rand, endorsed by Paul Ryan forces you to eliminate socialist welfare deadbeats, with free gun inside! Get your OWN box because we don't share.
Here’s a waker-upper from the Father of the Tea Party! Are you sick of the lazy socialist dregs of society sitting at your breakfast table, enjoying the bounty that the productive class provides? * Please note: If they are toddlers or infants, you may need to wait a couple more years to judge.
On second thought, don’t be harsh on teens either, they often go through a phase which strongly resembles the socialist welfare class.

You can just see how big and strong Paul Ryan has become on a regular diet of Atlas Shrugged Bran Briquets, lovingly hand fed to him by Auntie Ayn. I realize that only this week Ryan denied the cranky, constipated Father of the Tea Party. She understands that he hasn’t chosen Catholicism over her philosophy, or wafers over Bran. He’s not about to ‘feed the poor or house the homeless.’ What claptrap! Ayn knows he is only doing what it takes to get elected. Once elected, he can force feed the people what’s ‘good’ for them by free will or by trickery…Remember this one from babyhood? ‘Here comes the airplane ’round and ’round and…Zzzzt -into your mouth!’ Didja fall for it? Thn here’s a lovely surprise for you! Use it to guard your valuables from unworthy hordes – when you’re not indisposed and otherwise engaged of course.