Funny or Die taps into Apple Watch madness in a comedy video spoof in which ‘ Tim Cook’ enumerates all of the great add-ons you can buy for your new iWatch. The world has been waiting for an iWatch from Apple, because – well, it’s just too awkward to look at your phone when you want to know the time. Maybe that’s it? If you’re one of the faithful, you have an Apple (something) for nearly every year you’ve been a consumer. Not adding the iWatch to your collection is just as unthinkable – as not adding the iWatch2 next year! Seventeen thousand dollars is not too much to pay for history in the making.
When you’re an innovative company like Apple, a few bugs can be expected. That’s why Tim Cook says the new iWatch is ‘useless’ alone, but – he’s offering a few helpful add-ons. Do you find it inconvenient to watch your movies and downlads on a postage stamp size screen? For those of you who want to watch from a greater distance than two inches, he has a screen add-on just for you squinters. It’s even larger than the screen of your iPhone, you’ll be delighted! Are your fingers too fat for the itty bitty buttons? Does the thought of writing an entire novel on a keyboard the size of a pencil eraser see daunting? Tim’s got you covered with a great add-on keyboard. Get your credit card out, and run it through your iWatch, it’s tied to your banking info after all. While you’re connected, you may as well get the iMouse watch interface too.
You may find those additions to be a bit heavy, but the ergonomic ‘desk on your arm’ provides the stability you need, plus every desk option you could desire! You’ll want the iStapler, the iPrinter, the iTutu, iLamp, iStamps, iScissors and the iChain – a new add-on to minimize theft, just to name a few of the exciting features.
What if you change your mind, and want ‘real’ friends and ‘real’ books and experiences? Who ARE you people? Never fear, Apple has a solution for you malcontents too. I think you’re going to like it! Just be sure to keep some iBandages handy.
“The Apple Watch, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s about time.”
Does it tell time? He didn’t mention that feature.