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Douchy Fox Friends need to pee, Trump investigators lost

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At first glance, the excitement seems to be palpable on the Fox BFF set. On a second appraisal, it seems more likely that the gang forgot to visit the restroom before taping, and they really need to go! It’s possible that some the jiggling and squirming stems from the ‘gotcha’ kind of excitement so often felt by professional news people.

Edward R Murrow must have had the same demeanor as Doocy and Kilmeade today. This is big stuff! Byzantine conspiracies rarely roll out so seamlessly on other networks. A frightened President Obama and the liberal left wing press pushed Trump out of the running! I’ll say no more, but it is no coincidence that President Obama’s "Bin Laden is dead" speech interrupted ‘The Apprentice’ – don’t fool yourself!

In other news, while Trump seems unconcerned, it has been several months since he sent his cracker jack team of investigators to Hawaii. While they were searching, the long form birth certificate was unveiled, but unconcerned their boss hasn’t called them off, nor has he heard from them. I suspect foul play – at the hands of the LAME STREAM MEDIA!