Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel The Onion presents the findings of a report compiled by the Department of…
Ties! Now that’s a good idea! Finally a use for the damn things. Though I have found them useful on rare occasion when the toilet…
For women starting a new job, it can be difficult to navigate a male-dominated office environment. That’s why The Onion has put together these tips…
httpv://www.youtube.com/-BTbYetQfWU “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.” – H. L. Mencken…
The penis float! Do we have a word yet for this kind of thing? And what is this kind of thing? Is this like talking…
Oh my God, pretend football is now the biggest sport in America. Fake wrestling comes in second. Hold it. And 90% of us believe that…
While Governor Christie did outlaw Christian Gay Conversion methods in New Jersey, on the same day he vetoed a bill to halt the sale of…
I vant to be alone. And I want my own room. Is this just another case of The Bad Seed or is this kid just…
But most of all we want filters that fill up a jug of tap water faster. There should be a song in the background for…
After 911 we doubled the border patrol from 10,000 to 20,000 agents. Republicans in the House are now saying they must have another 20,000 costing…
Wow. I don’t think there could be a better example of how Christian conservatives (Republicans) see women. Well Done.
We’re number one! We’re Number one! We’re number one! Put the ladies in burkas. Segregate the ladies into Amazon Squads who all carry lock cutters.…
Not satisfied with having captured only 98% of a typical gamer’s waking attention, Microsoft has announced their new XBOX. Utilizing a host of simple voice…
Big Brother is real, and its Bill Gates not Barack Obama. Anyone remember the old ROLLERBALL movie. Where a corporation took control? That issue is…
Former V.P. Dick Cheney celebrates the 10th anniversary of the Iraq war – with sadness. In a rare, candid interview, former Vice President Dick Cheney…