Are you having a bad day? Consider for a moment, whether your day rates anywhere near the Wednesday that set Cameron Jeffrey Wilson’s very bad, horrible, awful, regrettable and – frankly, stupid day in motion.Wilson, a resident of Cashmere, Washington – the other Florida, was in his apartment when the gun slung casually in his front pocket discharged, ripping through his groin and thigh.
Despite his serious injury, Wilson set about hiding his pistol, while storing marijuana in a balloon, which he secreted in his anus. If calling 911 seems to be the first priority, you should know that 27-year old Wilson is a 13-time convicted felon, an ambitious record someone to run up in 8 years in adult corrections.
While Wilson was on the operating table, doctors became suspicious – as they will, when a balloon slipped from Wilson’s anus onto the table , which prompted a call to police. Police conducted a search and found meth amphetamine in Wilson’s bloodied jeans. We will never know why Wilson chose to conceal the marijuana and not the meth.
An arrest warrant was filed, and Wilson peacefully turned himself in on the appointed date. Normally this would be the end of the story, but Wilson who is no stranger to the ways of police processing did it again. During the obligatory strip-search, yet another balloon of marijuana slipped from his undependable anus.
As an added bonus, police listened in when Wilson called his girlfriend and asked her not to cooperate with investigators. As a result of careless holstering and anal slippage, Wilson was charged with possession of a firearm, unlawful possession of meth, possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility, and four counts of tampering with a witness. Wilson was being held on $110,000 bail and is due in court on June 18.
This desperado may never see the light of day again…Yet he’s doing less harm than the dim, flickering bulb in the White House. What’s wrong with this picture?