KicK! Making Politics Fun

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David Shuster, sitting in for Keith Olbermann, leads a discussion about the Republican party, which is crumbling under the hypocrisy of their latest two great hopes for 2012. He is joined by strategists from both parties, who comment on recent actions and suggested ways to save the party if possible. The GOP ethics chairman has asked Sanford to step down, as have others who are talking to him behind the scenes. They still live in an enchanted land where they believe his future depends upon his relationship with his wife. I believe he put that dream to rest with his announcement that he still loves his mistress.He did give lip service to "doing the right thing" with all of the enthusiasm of a two-year-old confronted by boiled cabbage.

When it was revealed in Vanity Fair that top McCain aides had concerns ranging from post partum depression, a severe personality disorder, willful ignorance and refusal to become informed, among other things that we're assured make this the very tip of the problems, Palin chose to fight back. That is why I saw her lacing on her running shoes this morning and challenging the President to a race! I suspect she wishes to select the trail, far out in the Alaskan wilderness, and am glad he is much too busy for such foolishness. She claims her problems on the campaign trail came down to one thing only...."Sweat" as she told Runner's Weekly, and no other publication! "It's my sanity, and the McCain crew refused to carve out time for my runs." Well, that explains her wacky behavior, now if we can come up with an equally lame one for Sanford's hypocrisy - the Republicans are still screwed, but what a show! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

Best Advice From A Higher Being: This goes hands down to Joe the alleged Plumber. Much like David Shuster, who is filling in for Keith, I hope the "Big Guy" will change his mind, and give Joe the go-ahead. After all, the horses the GOP have been betting on are coming up rather lame this week. Think Palin and Sanford. As you'll see, when asked by an interviewer, as to whether Joe's future plans involve running for public office. See Best for yourself to experience the agony of defeat as Joe explains, as only he can, how he'd discussed this with God. The answer, much like the great Biblical answers passed down through history, was "He was like, 'No'" Another plus if Joe's "boss" changes his mind, and says "Like, yah..ya know. Run for it Joe!" Hey, at last he'd have an official title, Joe the Candidate, then Joe the former candidate, but enough of this confusing plumber business!

Best New Law: It's difficult to argue with this one! Lawmakers have passed the Oklahoma Eye Tattoo Law. I assumed they were speaking of merely outlining the eye in a kohl pencil type of look, and being a bit reactionary. Oh how wrong I was! Who knew that a qualified Opthamolotist would inject permanent ink into the whites of one's eyes, all the better to appear to be a real zombie! The problem is, that they have an inordinate number of red and purple eyed blind zombies stumbling around from this dangerous practice. They're passing the law knowing full well, the fun seekers will hop across the border to Kansas for a little Zombie make-over.

Best Assault and Subsequent Arrest Using a Salted Weapon: Perhaps the first arrest for using harmless looking Cheetos puffed snacks. James Earl Taylor and Mary S. Childers were apparently having a discussion which led to a disagreement. Verbal abuse turned to physical abuse - using the little cheesy puffs! They would leave a nasty semi-permanent yellow-orange dye on you and your clothing, but the fight was drastic enough for police to arrest them for domestic assault. This, I regret we cannot see in technicolor! It's just fortunate they were not moved to BB-Q that day,else they might have had skewers, or rib bones lying around! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

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Senator Ensign, Senator Sanford, that creepy little Jindal character... Even God's very own chosen Bimbo Sarah Palin may be in error and wrong and failed, but are human beings with not a few likable features in their package. Each can generate a bit of "it could have been me" pathos to their personalities. Which is why it so very important to ignor them and put Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney on the front page of Republicans Today!

There is not one "redeeming social value" to any of these Riders of the Apocalypse. No pleasant physical features, nothing kind or pleasant or nice about them, the reek of inflated egos and represent everything that is wrong not only with Republicanism, but with the human condition as well.

But I must say even with shooting a friend in the face, there is ONE THING good about Dick Cheney; he supports Gay Marriage. I cannot find anything at all good about the other two. Please RNC, keep the images of these three nasty old white men up front and center.

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Gold: San Diego County Sheriff Deputy Marshall Abbott takes home the Golden Gloves, bullying douche bag award! Watch Keith Olbermann in Worst Persons in the World, as he relays what constituted a good enough reason for Abbot to enter the home of Shari Barman, hosting a group of sixty-something aged women, twist her shoulder which was recovering from surgery until she lie on the ground writhing in pain, do the same with another woman, arrest two, and pepper spray the rest. It is speculated that the fact that they were fund-raising (albeit quietly), for Congressional Candidate Francine Busby who once challenged Rep Duke Cunningham may have had something to do with the neighbor's unwarrently call and the brutality.

Silver Shaddup Already: To Rush Limbaugh! Today he's worked up about the 'new' idea of presidential term limits, as brought up by Congressman Jose Sarano of New York. What Rush fails to remember, is that Sarano, who wishes to limit the term to two years, attempted to introduce it three times during the seemingly endless era of the Bush admistration! Watch Keith to see how Rush ties this in with getting rid of the 22nd amendment, and "all of the things President Obama's already done." Methinks he was never truly concerned about exactly who played fast and loose with the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

Bronze: Sarah Palin, but I'm framing this issue of Vanity Fair! It's priceless. At long last McCain aides admit worry over the mental state of McCain's running mate, while on the Batty Bus Tour. Her "Little shop of horrors" is mentioned. Not to give all of the fun away, but one incident which caused wonder came when Palin found time to announce the birth of her baby. She emailed her friends belatedly, but it was okay. You see, the email was signed "Trig's Creator, Your Heavenly Father." I could tell she felt she was All that and a bag of chips, but Gosh! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

There is an old saying; If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!" The "Wild Bull Of The Pampas" cannot seem to STFU, though no one had asked him to further elaborate on his indiscretions. Perhaps he's merely bragging? My burning question is what do these women see in him? Please, if anyone has a clue, please let me in on it!

Soon, I'll follow my own advice, and leave you in the very capable hands of Keith and the always delightful Eugene Robinson, Associate Editor of the Washington Post. Fun Fact: Robinson, originally from So. Carolina can testify that Mr. Family Values is Governor of a state where adultery will get you 6 months of jail time and a hefty fine! Why we should believe Sanford's revised story is as questionable as is his desire to tell all, after bashing every politician with so much as a question of immorality!

In short, we know that he lied (poorly) about hiking the Appalachian Trail on Dad's Day, and annual nude hiking day,while vanishing from his office, without telling staffers how to reach him. His Four trysts with Ms. Argentina, morphed today into Seven international tax-payer funded trips. Not all travel was to Argentina however. The two met a number of times I've lost track of, "sparking" in New York City for "multiple nights." Perhaps he said he was attending a Promise Keepers meeting?

Brace yourself, it gets better. More astonishing is his admission of a "handful of women" with whom he "let his guard down." This guy is not Brad Pitt in case you haven't noticed!

I wonder if the GOP is still sticking by yesterday's proviso that if Mrs. Sanford forgave him, they would have no problems forgiving and forgetting? .I'd say the chances of the rather cheerful looking Mrs. Sanford tells that story! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article |

Parade Magazine has the largest circulation of any print source in America! I assume that means it is also the most reliable source of information. Just ask Marilyn or Howard Huge! So this Sunday they ran a story called Who Gets Sick In America—And Why

It gives advice on what to do concerning your health if you are Black, Hispanic, Asian, American Indian or live in the middle of nowhere where so much voting goes on. Here is the advice on the latter:

If you’re Living in rural America You are more likely to:

Have difficulty accessing good medical care
Abuse alcohol, starting at a young age
Use methamphetamine (an addictive and harmful drug)
Die from accidents        
Commit suicide

What you can do:

Find good primary care at a regional medical center; avoid alcohol and drugs; seek out a mental-health professional if you feel depressed.

So it seems these heavy voters from what Sarah Palin calls the REAL AMERICA started drinking at about 12, moved up to crank as teenagers, and if they are not killed driving on dark country roads, falling into (or out of) bathtubs or jacking up their trailers, they shoot themselves.

What the story misses is that according to Kensey, about 40% of these Republican voting rural Real Americans also have sex with animals. Where do you think Swine Flu, Chicken Flu and Horse Flu come from? The article also missed snake handling, combines and monster trucks. And you know, if it were not for REAL AMERICANS in REAL AMERICA I wouldn't feel as smart as I do.

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Religious Right Evangelical Christian Governor Mark Sanford refuses to resign because King David from the Old Testicles did not give up in the face of adversity. Jon Stewart is angry that this Goy is now playing both King and Jew!

Also Rush Limbaugh yesterday blamed President Obama for Mark Sanford committing adultery. Limbaugh declared that Sanford, a good conservative Christian Republican realized that Obama is sending this nation into oblivion so what the hell, he may was well commit adultery.

Or course the trouble with that is that Sanford committed adultery over a year ago realizing that there was little reason to live what with George W. Bush as President. 20 million people listen to that fat ugly pig of a man each week?  Wow... I would guess his listeners must have picked up his morphine habit...

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It's sweet, it's Wall Street and it's OH-SO Republican!

Without having to give any handjobs himself, Bernie Madoff can sell prison handjobs, package them as derivatives, giving all prisoners unlimited handjobs - sometime in the future!

So sweet... Wall Street behind bars! So Republican it makes one want to spend a bit of tax money to issue American flag lapel pins to every prisoner in America, and Cuba...

Lapels... hmmm... Collars... Hmmm... American Flag Flip-Flop Pins!

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