KicK! Making Politics Fun

Coming off the field with his MVP award, Saints Quarterback Drew Brees declared "GOD IS GREAT!" This Godly shout once reserved for those flying jet airliners into skyscrapers and obliterating shoppers by blowing themselves up in cars and market places is now apropos to winning the Superbowl!  Hear! Here! God is indeed Great! [This, in a series of the most unpopular blog articles of all time] 

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In the years following Godfrey Chaucer the phrase "stupid assholes" became one of the most definitive and ubiquitous in the English lexicon. Using the Pimbo Bender we trekked back to the 13th century to find where exactly the term originated.

We found a a pre-relative of Charles Dickens who we now know came up with the phrase because of our unintended bending of time and space. We are responsible for one of the most descriptive nuances in the history of Western philosophy which has endured for over six centuries. To this day, everyone knows who the "stupid assholes" are. A term that needs no further explanation to gain the nod of human kind.

So as chance would have it, this Dickens fellow saw the space around him bending, and noticing our Hawaiian shirts knew something was amiss. He knocked us abeam of the thing and disappeared into time and place unknown to return moments later mumbling about stupid assholes.

We jumped back abeam of the thing and hit the reset switch which took us back to its last known stop. Where had this Dickens fellow been to find the stupidest assholes of all time?  

We found ourselves bending onto a hotel stage in Nashville, Tennessee next to us a strange woman with big hair and glasses saying nasty stupid things to a cheering crowd. As we looked out over the audience, past the sea of aging whiteness, above the calorie adjusted flagwear and slack minds, we saw the faces full of joyous rapture as they absorbed a lifetime supply of ignorant tripe from an airhead with her speech written on the palm of her hand. The Tea Baggers, the original and definitive stupid assholes.

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Here is a close up of Sarah Palin's crib notes which she wrote on the palm of her hand to help her along WHILE she accused the President of using a teleprompter. The words on her hand were "energy," "tax,"  "lift American spirits" and "budget" which was crossed out. Well maybe she didn't write them, after all the words were spelled correctly. But hey, she leads the Republican pack for President in 2012! Ahead of runner ups Dick Cheney and Newt Gingrich! Oh and Mitt Romney, who like Glenn Beck, believes Jesus is from Michigan!  Video of Sarah Palin checking her crib notes. Continue reading "PHOTO: Sarah Palins Crib Notes"

Of course these opportunities come by me more days than not, but is it a valid concern for the rest of Hostess America?  Continue reading "VIDEO: SNL Cialis for Threeways"

"How's that hope-y, change-y stuff workin' out for you?" Sarah Palin opening her $100,000 45 minute Tea Party Convention speech. 

It goes without saying that hillbilly talk is a winner in these circles, but the kicker in the speech, the moment that garnered the greatest standing ovation of the evening was this one:

"We need a commander-in-chief, not a professor of law standing at a lectern."  Sarah Palin on President Obama.

Let me interpret that one for you and why it received the standing ovation:

"We need a stupid asshole to preside over our vision of America, we resent anyone smarter than we are, that's why we love you Sarah!"

Continue reading "VIDEO: Full Sarah Palin Tea Party Convention Speech"

Perhaps there is a great movie in Fox News? The Good Lookin', the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad and the very ugly (sorry Karl). It's hard to satirize something already as over the top as FOX NEWS. In fact I swear I saw this portrayal of Glenn Beck tear for tear on the Glenn Beck Show not long ago. Though I was disappointed with the no show of the Fox News Nitwit, Sean Hannity.      Continue reading "VIDEO: SNL Greta Van Susteren, Glenn Beck and the NOT GAY FOX NEWS players"

President Barack Obama's White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel apologizes to the friggin' progressive retards who squealed on him to the Wall Street Journal and Sarah friggin' Palin.
Continue reading "VIDEO: SNL Rahm Emanuels even tempered apology to friggin' Sarah Palin"

"That's just retarded. This is just retarded. That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard." Governor Perry top campaign consultant Dave Carney

That coming a few days before Sarah Palin will be at a major campaign event with Governor Perry during the Superbowl, which also includes the officially retarded Ted Nugent on guitar. David Carney screams RETARDS! Continue reading "PHOTO: Republican Retards Sarah Palin, Governor Rick Perry, David Carney and Ted Nugent"

Keith Olbermann shares insight regarding Carly Fiorina's "demon sheep" ad. The Python bit isn't the frightening part, but the glowing red eyes, and man in a sheep costume may keep you awake! Possibly the worst campaign ad of all time however, it was lauded by Democrats. Continue reading "VIDEO Olbermann: Carly Fiorina borrows Monty Pythons plummeting sheep in awful campaign ad"

The interview of the titans, Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly was a farce. O'Reilly was careful to tape, the better to leave large, cogent pieces of Stewart's excellent commentary on the cutting room floor. Chicken-hearted O'Reilly wasn't up to the task of answering questions by someone he once called "a clown" with no real news following, but we have the clips you missed here! Continue reading "VIDEO: What Jon Stewart really said at Fox, shows OReilly, Beck, Cavuto as insane"

Gold: My, but it sounds as if Sen. John Cornyn R - Tx covers his envy of House Republicans who met with President Obama last week very well."We're always happy to hear from the president but I don't really feel any compelling need to to so." Silver: Robert J. Kiesel, a stockbroker by day, a truck basher by night, but not just any ol' truck, or location of the truck bashing in Ridge, NJ. Bronze: Gov Mark Sanford. (Also) known for saying accepting the stimulous money would be fiscal child abuse leading to slavery. Meet child abuser, Gov. Mark Sanford. Continue reading "VIDEO, Olbermann Worst, Sen John Cornyn R Tx, Robert J Kiese NJ DUI , Gov Sanford R Sc child slavery"

Washington Times reporter Frank Gaffney and California Congressman Duncan Hunter, both bigots and homophobes representing the Republican Party and Jesus are warning us that allowing Gays in the military will also force transgenders and hermaphrodites into the Marines. Stephen Colbert explains that hermaphrodites are not gay but doubly straight!  Continue reading "VIDEO: Stepehen Colbert, Homophobes Duncan Hunter and Frank Gaffney wrong about Hermaphrodites"

Like the Three Stooges? The Marx Brothers? Stupid stoner movies? Soupy Sales? Well here ya go! Laugh it up.  Continue reading "VIDEO: Jon Stewart's dick swett goes sophomoric"

Could this be true? Blogs use emotional embellishment to make points and take sides! Please tell me it aint so! Excuse me, Blogs and Fox News use emotional embellishment to take sides.   Continue reading "VIDEO: Daily Show, Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow EVISCERATE the opposition!"

On a cold and rainy day... The dog and I crowd the back door to get in from the shivering wet. As I open the door the dog sneezes and trots to the front hall where he slows down so not to slip shifting from carpet to tile floor on the tight turn into my office. He finds his spot under the desk with a window view of the street, chin on sill, he sounds a long exhale, wiggles into better position and yawns.
Sneezing I quickly follow him, also slowing down so not to slip on the tiles as I make a tight turn into my office. I spin my chair, flop down with a verbal sigh, and taking notice of my friend's yawn, I can't help but follow suit.
I am sure both our blood pressures have fallen precipitously and our brains gone slack as we fall into our shared instinctive primordial satisfaction. Though the dog didn't smoke the joint.

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Things that go BOOM appeal to Boys of all ages. Now you can book a tour to Bolivia's Mt Ricco and have an explosive vacation. If that's not your idea of fun, you could stay at home like Chris Weller of Kent, England. Thirty thousand dollars later, his home is a luxury suite to gigantic reptiles. Best to meet potential dates at a coffee shop Continue reading "VIDEO: Olbermann Oddball, Man spends thousands to live with Crocs, Play with explosives in Bolivia "

Yesterday, certain that Sarah Palin's umbrage came from a genuine motherly feeling of protection for her Downs Syndrome baby, guest Margaret Carlson said that Sarah Palin would be just as defensive if Republicans used the word retarded as she was when she demanded Rahm Emanuel's job. Rush Limbaugh has unapologetically used "Retard" - as often as he announced he would, as expected, not a peep from Palin. Continue reading "VIDEO: Olbermann, Palin a hypcrite, bad mom, okay for Limbaugh, Republicans to use word Retarded"

The biggest baddest 'winner' tonight is Glenn Beck. A Barack by any other name would smell like a Kenyan radical by birth. Sean Hannity is the guy whose face is covered by egg. Remember the lies made by George Bush regarding his sacrifice of - golf, in solidarity with troops and their families?   A Florida woman needs the prayer to Saint Anthony for finding lost articles. The folks at 911 feel she'd try the patience of a saint!

Continue reading "VIDEO: Olbermann Worst, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Crestview Fla 911 woman"

A really funny spin on "Don't ask don't tell". McCain said he would change his mind when military leaderS changed theirs. And as Captain Crunch has been silent...

But the really hilarious clip is Senator Saxby Chambliss. I spent several years in the military so I know a bit about it.  For this nutcake to blame Gays for alcohol use, adultery (cheating of husbands and wives - hey Dude, Gays can't get married), fraternization (sex within the ranks) and body art (tattoos) in the military is the silliest damn thing I have ever heard! MY GOD MAN, get a grip! All those things are the point of joining up! Living outside the "real world" for the drink, cheap whores and the added fun of legalized violence. It seems Senator Chambliss has been freebasing spinach!

Continue reading "VIDEO: Stephen Colbert on Senators Liar McCain and Bigot Chambliss"

The profound silliness of men being discriminated in the country aside...

You know, I hunt and fish and am a woodsy outdoorsy salty sort of guy. And I can safely say, I have nothing, NOTHING in common with these circle jerking pantywastes in the woods with their polished friggin' talking stick. A better use for that would be to clobber these losers over the head a few times until they come to their senses. I mean, gosh. I think these are the very ones who need to wear DEPENDS when terror trials come to mind. Samantha did this one well!

Continue reading "VIDEO: Daily Show Samantha Bee goes camo to report on the discrimination of men in America! "

Though the kick in the head here goes to the inherent dishonesty and bigotry of Senator John McCain, Senator Saxby Chambliss and the Republican Party regarding "don't ask don't tell", the real fun is Jon Oliver's satire on bigotry by substituting "old" for "gay" in all this. Kick! Bigotry Page  Continue reading "VIDEO: Jon Stewart John Oliver Gays in Military and senile old people like John McCain"

These two scumbags... Oops, I mean this good Christian couple were found guilty of watching their 16 year old son suffer and die from an easily dealt with kidney stone. Instead of medical attention these scumbags, oops, I mean good American Christians anointed their son in "Christian oils" and prayer as he died. Previously they had helped their daughter Raylene Worthington do the same to their 16 month old grand daughter Ava. Jeffrey, Marci Beagley found guilty in Oregon City faith-healing trial
Continue reading "PHOTO: Good Christians Jeff and Marci Beagley Guilty of killing son "

Ed Schultz attended just one of several free health clinics springing up with volunteer medical help. Today's clinic was in Hartford, Connecticut. The need is overwhelming! You'll hear personal stories, some life saving, some life changing. Schultz said he saw the best and the worst of America today. If you take anything away, it's that it doesn't have to be this way. Of the thousand people seen, 69% were unemployed, some recently making six figures. Another 39% are underemployed, sometimes working two and three jobs. Why are they still waiting for a free clinic or going without care? Politics, nothing more. Lieberman refuses to consider it. While Obama harangues the House and Senate that we've got to finish the job on this, Democrats in both houses worry about how it will look! Will passing reform with reconciliation look like a trick, or heaven forbid..taint future attempts to work with Republicans! Continue reading "VIDEO: Olbermann, Ed Schultz, Need for free health clinics grows, today in Hartford, Conn"

While it doesn't excuse him, Rahm Emanuel did apologize for using the word "retarded" about liberal debt management, after great umbrage from Sarah Palin. No one with his influence should use the word, or hold a job of influence seemed to be the feeling of Palin, the mother of a special needs child. We can understand her feelings. As Margaret Carlson points out, they seem much more genuine than her pretend umbrage at David Letterman over his joke regarding Bristol. Enter stage ugly. Rush Limbaugh seems to be on a mission to repeat the word "Retards" as often as possible. He's said that he will not stop or apologize, and in what passes for wit stated there will be a "Retard Summit at the White House." How Palin handles this, will tell us all we need to know. As of this time, she has yet to address Limbaugh's inflammatory remarks. Keith Olbermann and Margaret Carlson discuss the issue, Carlson taking a mother's side, unable to imagine Palin letting Limbaugh's crude, cruel remarks go unaddressed. Continue reading "VIDEO Olbermann Palin demands Emanuel apology,what of Limbaughs blatant use of word Retard "

A jolly Rush Limbaugh, "Feminazi" hater, and bitterly no ladie's man, was inexplicably selected to help judge the Miss America contest. Thus emboldened, the dirty old man is full of himself, sharing "feminazi" comments and anti-feminist quips such as calling CBS evening news anchor Katie Couric an "Anchor babe." Mind, he hates liberalism, but told former Miss America Gretchen Carlson, that feminism has led women astray. He "Loves the woman's movement, especially when walking behind them." Anyone need an emesis basin? Continue reading "VIDEO: Ed Schultz Psycho Talk, Limbaugh judging womens butts, opposing feminism"

Golden Boy: Roger Ailes. As chief of the Fox News network, why would Ailes send rabid right wing employee Sean Hannity to deliver the keynote address at the National Republican Congressional Committee Fund raising Dinner? I presume he'll be dropping the words "Fair and Balanced" as well as the pretense of being a 'news' network very soon. Here's hoping those who feel they hear both sides on Fox pay attention!

Silver Stupidity Shared: Duncan Hunter R- CA and Frank Gaffney, WA times. The two revealed a great deal about themselves, commenting about repealing "don't ask don't tell" in the military. Like most whose sexuality is in question, their protests were similar. Floodgates will open. There will  be hermaphrodites, transgenders, homosexuals, and lesbians Oh My! Sexuality confused much, guys?

Bronze: DOT's Ray LaHood admits being hasty in advising Toyota dealers to park their cars until the sticking accelerator pedals could be repaired. Much earlier he stated that "mainstream news needed to amplify that message or Bush's people needed to stand up and shout, stamp their feet." (usually one's first impulse). His latest unfortunately worded announcement stated " NHTSA will continue to hold Toyota's feet to the fire." The man is a treasure! Continue reading "VIDEO: Olberman Worst of, Roger Ailes, Duncan Hunter R CA, Frank Gaffney, Roy Lahood DOT"

Daily Show host Jon Stewart tries to play nice with the Bill-O who just isn't a very nice person. Sexist Bill O'Reilly. The core of this debate is O'Reilly's refusal to admit FOX NEWS is a biased tool of Republicans and Conservatives. You can see how the spurious argument goes. Here it is in old time logic.

Premise #1 John McCain is a Republican.
Premise #2 John McCain refused to come on FOX NEWS.
Conclusion: FOX NEWS has no Republican bias.

There you go. You see, they cannot even be honest about who they are yet alone what they think.

Continue reading "VIDEO: Bill OReilly Interviews Jon Stewart about FOX NEWS"

Damn I hate doing this...

I have to apologize to Republicans for blaming them for our psychotic fear of a few shackled Muslims coming to New York, or it seems, them setting foot on American soil anywhere at all. It is not Republicans after all, it is Americans who are cowardly shaking in their boots having all that pee and poop running down their fat spoiled chickenshit legs. Am I clear on this?  Gosh... How embarrassing, where are those red maple leaf decals, gotta cover my car with them... Hat, shirts, shoes mailbox...

And this is not to mention the flat fall of the hypocrisy screeching DUE PROCESS, RULE OF LAW, JUSTICE, and LIBERTY. My God...  Or how closed military tribunals not only give terrorists valid recruitment power but undeserved credibility for their insane RELIGION which is the cause of all this insane violent crap. We are the scared. We are the stupid... And and we are proud of it. I found a good article on this! Since when are Americans afraid of trials By PATRICK F. McCANN 

I have had to do my DEPENDS graphic over again. Continue reading "GRAPHIC: America, land of stupid hypocritical cowards "

This is an edgy interview. Has Jon Stewart gone too far in making a joke of Brian Williams trip to the suffering Haiti? I report you decide.  Continue reading "VIDEO: Jon Stewart interviews Brian Williams on Haiti and peeing in Diane Sawyers canteen"

Michele Bachmann knows that If we allow health care reform it "will be the crown jewel of socialism," If indeed the government were to tell us what to do and say, it would interfere with Bachmann's plans to police one and all starting with an investigation of Congress for unAmerican attitudes. We presume she's finished reading "The Life and Times of Joseph McCarthy." Brace yourselves in, the results of a non-partisan poll of Republicans about President Obama makes one wonder if indeed they read much. One thing's certain, we're in a lotta trouble Rooocie! Continue reading "VIDEO:Chris Matthews Sideshow, Michele Bachmann lunatic thought police, Repub polls about Obama scary"