KicK! Making Politics Fun

A liberal dose of political humor



Kick! Making Politics Fun
Register | Log in | About | Contact | Talking Points


Fort Worth Texas Wife gets 5 years for Husband's Crime

In Fort Worth, Texas [you know this just has to be a Texas story] Darrell Robertson found his wife in a pickup truck [you know it had to be a pickup truck] in the arms of another man. His wife Tracy Robertson noticing that her husband was witnessing her moment of passion screamed "rape!". Darrell got his gun and that was the end of Mr. LaSalle.

Or course a Texas jury [like any Texas jury] refused to indict Robertson because he had a Shoot Whoever You Want Card. This is the invisibile but very real card that states Texans can shoot whoever they please if they step onto their property, The Texas Castle Law. With the Joe Horn case pending without a long overdue indictment, it would seem that the Castle Law has been extended to our neighbor's property. The card also allows Texans to shoot people hugging their wives, as in this case in which the state decided to indict his wife for her dishonest shout. She was sentenced today to 5 years and can get out on probation in 2 years.

To make this Texas story even sweeter is this quote by husband Darrell Robertson to the press.

"When I heard my wife sream and saw LaSalle trying to drive off from the scene, I had no choice but to do what I did, If I had to do it over, I'd do it again."

So there you have it. Here in Texas we have no choice but to shoot men hugging our wifes. Keep that in mind all you Yankees. Fort Worth Texas Wife gets 5 years for Husband's Crime

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Facebook Censorship in All States but Texas

Facebook announced today that it would adhere to an agreement with all State's Attorney General offices - except Texas - to add software that protects minors from sexual predators. This mostly concerns all Facebook members to have their true ages presented within the Facebook system. This is yet another nibbling away at our online privacy but it's a small one, after all, our ages cannot be used for too many awful things. Facebook Censorship in All States but Texas

So what's with Texas? Well, I have a theory, here is a fly on the wall when this came up in Austin during the legislative debate.

It says, "Facebook will adequately protect younger users until an age identification system is effectively developed and implemented."

Does it say anything about our guns?

Not specifically.

What specifically does it not say about our guns?

Well it also says that it will restrict searches by users 18 and over to prevent them seeking out minors, immediately sever links to pornographic sites, and remove content that is deemed inappropriate.

There ya go! Buying, selling, using and loving guns online will be deemed inappropriate by all the bleeding heart Yankees. There is no doubt this would deny our children the sport and joy that comes from shooting someone in the back who steps onto our property or hugs our wives! It is big government taking over Texas.

Hear! Here!

The vote in the House was 123 to 1 against the agreement. The 1 has not been seen since the vote was taken in early January.

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Stephen Colbert Interviews Arianna Huffington all Dressed up



Arianna Huffington is all dressed up to go to the Time magazine 100 most influential people of the year dinner. Stephen Colbert is refusing to go because he only came in 3rd! Good laughs on this one. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Texas Conceal Carry Applications up 39 percent

The Texas Department of Public Safety has been swamped with a 39% increase in concealed carry permits for April compared to the same month last year. Processing has already been extended to 90 days rather than 60 days in previous years, there is a 45 minute wait on the phone and DPS is hiring to keep up with the demand.

The various news articles tell us no one knows why this is. Well I know why! It wasn't until April that Texans realized that a Black guy was going to be the next President of the United States. As this in not about sales only a very little of it can be blamed on the conspiracy theory that they need to stock up before the Democrats take everyone's gun away. But talking to any Republican in Texas privately it's a no brainer that it's about what will happen next year if Barack Obama wins. I am sure video subscriptions will soon be available for only $9.95. Negroes Gone Wild! Texas Conceal Carry Applications up 39 percent

While some of you may wonder how many James Earl Rays' there may be left in this no longer racist nation of ours, here in Texas I wonder how many there are on my street.

Perhaps not too many years from now we will change the name of Martin Luther King Day to Martin Luther King/Barack Obama Day.

In closing I have only three words. Kevlar body suit.

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

San Diego University Drug Bust nabs 75 students

There were 96 arrests, 75 of which were students and fraternity members at San Diego State University. Authorities found two kilograms of cocaine along with 350 Ecstasy pills, marijuana, psychedelic mushrooms, hash oil, methamphetamine, illicit prescription drugs, several guns and at least $60,000 in cash.

All students on campus have been evicted and those off campus have been suspended. The crack down was because of two cocaine deaths at the college over the past year.

First let's just consider extending the crack down at this one school to what police do in African American neighborhoods. This is just one on campus cabal, there are likely dozens more. With each supplying many hundreds of students who support their use by selling down the line, trafficking, felony, hard time.

Next let's extrapolate that to all 5000 colleges in America. Are you with me here? Because as I write I am not clear exactly where this is going.

For the police it sure would be a cakewalk going from fraternity house, to sorority house, to dorm to off campus housing all in a small area filled with mostly unarmed street-dumb kids. And for the police, searching college girls is like living a Girls Gone Wild video.

Think of what a boon it would be to trial lawyers! Expensive trial lawyers all the parents would hire. But even with that and our draconian drug laws we would have 100,000s of white college students going to school at Attica, Folsom and what have you, joining the 2 million predominantly black and Hispanics in our prison system now. What would that do? Would it just be fodder for the old hats to have new people to beat and rape? Or would this leveling out and proximity to the more educated class create more desire and motivation upon those already there to grab hold of the American Dream. I also wonder if like dorms these days, would prisons go coed?

This could be something that needs doing! It's easy pickings for the police with far less danger than going down to the 4th ward, it would generate revenues with perhaps millions of new arrests and fines, create more middle class jobs for those not in jail, and reduce the recidivism rate as today's prisoners then reach for that American Dream. Let's get started! First off, Harvard and Yale. Best practice the process at a few smaller private colleges before tackling UCLA where the logistics would require many thousands of buses and heaven only knows how many new orange jumpsuits. San Diego State University Bust

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Gay Christian Jay Bakker asks Joel Osteen to Lunch NOPE

Soulforce member Jay Bakker, the punk rock preacher son of Tammy Bakker has been traveling the country asking pastors of the large mega churches to come have lunch to discuss the inclusion of gays into their Christian fold. He was in Houston, Texas this week trying to get the attention of mega Church Pastor Joel Osteen.

Before Jay's mother Tammy died of cancer last year, she had become a Christian voice in support of gay men and women and also active in Soulforce, the Christian gay organization. Jay who plays in a punk rock band and is covered in tatoos tattoos has committed his ministry to ridding America of the concept of US and THEM.



Bakker and a local mother of a lesbian and member of Osteen's Lakewood Church went to the Church to make the personal invite and were turned away.

After Lakewood spokesman Donald Ilof explained Pastor Osteen was too busy writing his Sunday Sermon he added, "If we met to talk, would this group be satisfied if we agreed to disagree? Soulforce wants to use Lakewood to further their agenda."

Oh no! Not someone with an agenda! Of course Osteen and every other preacher would never stoop so low as to have an agenda! 

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Stephen Colbert, George Bush is a bigger Alabatros than Rev Wright

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

John Oliver does the Political Ad Awards the Pollies Part 1 and 2

Ticket to the Pollies part 1



Ticket to the Pollies part 2 - This one includes the new Willie Horton ad on Barack Obama!

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart interviews Fareed Zakaria, May 7, 2008



Fareed Zakaria discusses his new book "The Post-American World." The gist of which is about the only thing we are #1 in anymore is the military and our weapon systems. Causing us to be stuck thinking in those terms while the rest of the world moves forward shunning the use of weapons and war more than ever before. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Stephen Colbert plan for FREE GAS for everyone



Stephen Colbert makes fun of the proposed gas tax holiday by suggesting we just make it free for everyone forever! Stephen doesn't care how we pay for it! Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Daily Show John Oliver does the Pollies Political Ad Awards



The Pollies, the very cynical awards for political advertising. The object on the Republican side is to save Democracy by destroying hope, making white people afraid of Negroes, and above all never changing anything. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Anti Immigration Sentiment up 50 percent in Houston, Texas with video

A recent Houston poll by Rice University showed that the overall angst directed at Mexican immigration has risen by 50% since 2004. In almost perfect correlation to the economic crisis caused by the Republican Bush Administration. The same historic scapegoating that has been going for eons, placing the blame upon the least of us who are also the least responsible rather than where it belongs, upon those in charge. It would seem that those in charge are the ones who get it all going. Rice University Immigration Survey


This is a local town meeting held for PBS here in Houston on May 26th, 2008. For the full hour go to Houston PBS Have Your Say



Play this while you read

This issue has been much discussed here by the Houston Chronicle and the Houston PBS station. Both of which show that most all the angst directed at Hispanics is driven by the same old crowd, what Arianna Huffington in her new book calls the Lunatic Fringe but is really just The Republican Base. It is primarily made up of Right-wing radio talk show hosts, conservative preachers, and racist organizations like the Minutemen and other vigilante border patrol groups. With the Klan politically incorrect of late, old members have found new groups to join under a the more conservatively correct banner of Nativist rather than the old unfair word Racist. If you have been watching cable news of late, you know that there are no white racists in America anymore, all the racists are African American now.

In the video you will see recently elected State Senator Dan Patrick who is Houston's loudest voice on the matter. Patrick is a hardcore evangelical fundamentalist Christian who for many years was the owner of Houston's premier Right Wing talk radio station and the lead in host before Rush Limbaugh. Patrick is so far out on the lunatic fringe that he once called for the executions of both President Bill Clinton and First Lady Hillary Clinton over some crazyass conspiracy theory. He contended that the first couple had started wild fires in New Mexico to cover up sending hard drives full of nuclear bomb information to the Chinese Communists. Treason! Execution! No lie! Patrick is an example of what drives this kind of low ball xenophobic crap which is at the core of the anti-immigration fervor at play these days.

"Many of the problems we are dealing with tonight wouldn't exist if we didn't have so many illegals coming into the country. We are in a downward spiral economically in this country, is it just coincidence it is occurring now that we had the large rush of illegals trying to get into this country? Any immigrants that want to come into this country legally I give my support. Many of us are products of parents, grandparents, great grandparents that came here many years ago as legal immigrants. What was the first thing they did when the came here they learned to speak English if that wasn't their native language, the reason was that was the only way they could succeed in this country by speaking the lauguage of this country." Ed Henderson VP Texas Border Volunteers

In that little speech taken from the video above lies the ignorance and endemic bigotry that is not only what drives this anti-immigration issue, but is at the very heart of what is most wrong with this country. It is what needs to be changed. AND GOOD LUCK WITH THAT BARACK!


Bigots can't spell either

The five fallacies of Illegal immigration:

Terrorist are going to come across the border and nuke Chicago (from the Tom Clancey book)! Islamic Jihadists are not going to wade across the Rio Grande with a 35% chance of getting caught. They are going to fly into O'Hare with impeccable papers or they are already here.

They don't learn English like historic immigrants of the past! Hispanics learn English much faster than any other historic immigrant group.

They don't pay taxes! They pay in about $10 billion a year in Social Security which they never reclaim for fear of deportation. Most pay federal withholding taxes which again they do not reclaim for the same reason. They pay sales taxes, property taxes, licensing, fees and stimulate the economy with their presence.

They are a criminal element! Illegal Immigrants are no more criminal than documented immigrants and less so than African Americans.

They depress wages! The only wages they depress are close to minimum wage and nationally it is about a nickel an hour.

The five reasons why the anti-immigration movement wants to deport 12 million illegal aliens which has nothing at all to do with paperwork.

They are foreigners!
They are not Protestants!
They are not white!
They don't speak English properly!
They have funny names like Wan and Jesus!

The five reasons to give them green cards.

When this same issue came up in 1986 Ronald Reagan used the bully pulpit to help pass legislation to give green cards to 4 million illegal aliens. Ronald Reagan, Lord of Conservatives, is never wrong.

They do the jobs the rest of us REALLY refuse to do and are needed for our economy to work. As soon as Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs and Tom Trancedo - in their three piece suits with flag lapel pins glittering in the noonday Sun - become lettuce pickers in the San Joaquin Valley we can discard this one.

They are especially good workers who always show up, show up on time, work harder than we do and do what they are told without lip or lawsuits.

Their reasonable religious beliefs and moral foundations, along with their superior work ethic and family values make this country a better place for the rest of us to live. After all, if it were not for the influx of hispanics here over the past 150 years, Texas would probably still be a slave state.

It is what Jesus would do. After all, if there had been a fence around Bethlehem, God only knows what may have happened to Mary and Joesph.
Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart interview with Howard Dean May 1, 2008



Jon Stewart plugs away at DNC Chairman Howard Dean about Michigan and Florida. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Fareed Zakaria NAILS John McCain on Foreign Policy

Mccain Vs. Mccain
He seems to think he can magically unite the two main strands in the foreign-policy establishment. He can't.
Fareed Zakaria NEWSWEEK
Apr 26, 2008

Amid the din of the dueling democrats, people seem to have forgotten about that other guy in the presidential race—you know, John McCain. McCain is said to be benefiting from this politically because his rivals are tearing each other apart. In fact, few people are paying much attention to what the Republican nominee is saying, or subjecting it to any serious scrutiny.

On March 26, McCain gave a speech on foreign policy in Los Angeles that was billed as his most comprehensive statement on the subject. It contained within it the most radical idea put forward by a major candidate for the presidency in 25 years. Yet almost no one noticed.

In his speech McCain proposed that the United States expel Russia from the G8, the group of advanced industrial countries. Moscow was included in this body in the 1990s to recognize and reward it for peacefully ending the cold war on Western terms, dismantling the Soviet empire and withdrawing from large chunks of the old Russian Empire as well. McCain also proposed that the United States should expand the G8 by taking in India and Brazil—but pointedly excluded China from the councils of power.

We have spent months debating Barack Obama's suggestion that he might, under some circumstances, meet with Iranians and Venezuelans. It is a sign of what is wrong with the foreign-policy debate that this idea is treated as a revolution in U.S. policy while McCain's proposal has barely registered. What McCain has announced is momentous—that the United States should adopt a policy of active exclusion and hostility toward two major global powers. It would reverse a decades-old bipartisan American policy of integrating these two countries into the global order, a policy that began under Richard Nixon (with Beijing) and continued under Ronald Reagan (with Moscow). It is a policy that would alienate many countries in Europe and Asia who would see it as an attempt by Washington to begin a new cold war.

I write this with sadness because I greatly admire John McCain, a man of intelligence, honor and enormous personal and political courage. I also agree with much of what else he said in that speech in Los Angeles. But in recent years, McCain has turned into a foreign-policy schizophrenic, alternating between neoconservative posturing and realist common sense. His speech reads like it was written by two very different people, each one given an allotment of a few paragraphs on every topic.

The neoconservative vision within the speech is essentially an affirmation of ideology. Not only does it declare war on Russia and China, it places the United States in active opposition to all nondemocracies. It proposes a League of Democracies, which would presumably play the role that the United Nations now does, except that all nondemocracies would be cast outside the pale. The approach lacks any strategic framework. What would be the gain from so alienating two great powers? How would the League of Democracies fight terrorism while excluding countries like Jordan, Morocco, Egypt and Singapore? What would be the gain to the average American to lessen our influence with Saudi Arabia, the central banker of oil, in a world in which we are still crucially dependent on that energy source?

The single most important security problem that the United States faces is securing loose nuclear materials. A terrorist group can pose an existential threat to the global order only by getting hold of such material. We also have an interest in stopping proliferation, particularly by rogue regimes like Iran and North Korea. To achieve both of these core objectives—which would make American safe and the world more secure—we need Russian cooperation. How fulsome is that likely to be if we gratuitously initiate hostilities with Moscow? Dissing dictators might make for a stirring speech, but ordinary Americans will have to live with the complications after the applause dies down.

To reorder the G8 without China would be particularly bizarre. The G8 was created to help coordinate problems of the emerging global economy. Every day these problems multiply—involving trade, pollution, currencies—and are in greater need of coordination. To have a body that attempts to do this but excludes the world's second largest economy is to condemn it to failure and irrelevance. International groups are not cheerleading bodies but exist to help solve pressing global crises. Excluding countries won't make the problems go away.

McCain appears to think that he can magically unite the two main strands in the Republican foreign-policy establishment. But he can't. This is not about personalities but about two philosophically divergent views of international affairs. Put together, they will produce infighting and incoherence. We have seen this movie before. We have watched an American president unable to choose between his ideologically driven vice president and his pragmatic secretary of State—and the result was the catastrophe of George W. Bush's first term. Twenty-five years earlier, we watched another president who believed that he could encompass the entire spectrum of foreign policy. He, too, gave speeches that were drafted by advisers with divergent world views: in that case, Cyrus Vance and Zbigniew Brzezinski. It led to the paralyzing internal battles of the Carter years. Does John McCain want to try this experiment one more time?

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Stephen Colbert Beats up Matt Drudge and Steals his Hat!

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Stephen Colbert and Dona Brazile do the Election



If as we know, 90% of African Americans think OJ Simpson is innocent what is so unusual about Rev Jeremiah Wright and his views? Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart discusses Rev Jeremiah Wright with Newt Gingrich

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart promotes Abstinance - Dry Humping

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart does Antonin Scalia and Grand theft Auto 4

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

I Feel It All by Feist on Stephen Colbert

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart Does Rev Jeremiah Wright April 28 2008

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart and the Congo Penis Thieft Panic!



More on this story at our brand new spinoff blog People are Strange Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

I Got My Stimulus Check and Spent it on Gas!

I got my stimulus check of $600 today. First thing I did was fill up my empty tank. That was $80, my wife and kids complained, so I filled up their empty tanks. That cost me $170 for their three cars. We are all very happy now that we can go where we want now without worry! Which is sure to result in another $250 next week. So I am doing my job to stimulate the much needed stimulation of Exxon/Mobile, OPEC and Ceaser Chavez. Good news is I will have $100 left which I intend to spend all on Beam. Just doing my patriotic job....

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Rev Jeremah Wright National Press Club Speech Video April 28, 2008

Rev. Jeremiah Wright gained much applause and a few standing ovations this morning speaking at the National Press Club to an appreciably Black audience.

He served out a few zingers for the supportive crowd which is in Washington for a two day black church symposium.

"I served six years in the military. Does that make me patriotic? How many years did Cheney serve?" Said Reverend Very Right

"My goddaughter's unit just arrived in Iraq this week while those who call me unpatriotic have used their positions of privilege to avoid military service while sending over 4,000 American boys and girls to die over a lie." Said Reverend Very Right

A few video clips of the speech...

But his central theme was that it is not he who is being vilified by the media, but the African American Church. Said Reverend Very Right

"The most recent attack on the black church -- it is not an attack on Jeremiah Wright -- it's an attack on the black church, just might mean that the reality of the African-American church will no longer be invisible."

NYTs - Wright says criticism is attack on black church

Geraldine Ferraro and Bill Clinton have spoken the truth to race concerning the politics of the Democratic Primaries and are also Very Right.

Rev Wright has rightly dissed the media, which as Hillary Clinton has learned, no good can come from. All that will come from his recent televised appearances on Bill Moyers, the NAACP and the National Press Club will be on the one hand a further saturation of his divisive video clips by the media, and on the other, complaints that putting himself out front will further saturate the air with his divisive video clips from the media.

Speaking of being Right, Adlai Stevenson was right, Hubert Humphrey was right, George McGovern was right, Jimmy Carter was right, Walter Mondale was right, Michael Dukkasis was right, Al Gore was right and so was John Kerry. Looking back further Jesus Christ was right, Gandhi was right, JFK, RFK and MLK were right.
Being right mostly gets you a little sticky gold star and a kick in the head... Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Atheist Specialist Jeremy Hall vs Maj. Freddy J. Welborn


Stationed in Iraq last year, Specialist Jeremy Hall put out the word that he was having a meeting of fellow atheists. Several soldiers joined him and to their surprise even an officer attended. It turned out that it was no ordinary officer but Maj. Freddy J. Welborn, a crusader for Jesus in this war between the two big religions Of The Book.

The Military Religious Freedom Foundation has taken up Hall's case in federal court with a suit that contends his First Amendment rights have been violated.


“People like you are not holding up the Constitution and are going against what the founding fathers, who were Christians, wanted for America!”

Maj. Freddy J. Welborn who went on to threaten Hall and his group with baring their reenlistment and military charges against them. Specialist Hall was sent home early from Iraq because of threats from his fellow troops.

There are many such incidents over the past several years concerning officers proselytizing evangelical Christianity to soldiers who have no choice but to listen. The military believes that a belief in God makes better killers. And who can argue with that? Soldier Sues Army, Saying His Atheism Led to Threats

This story takes me back...

rack jiteIn the sixites on my first day in the Army I filled out the "dog tags" form and passed it through a little window in the room. You get two dog tags which you wear around your neck on a chain at all times. One is for the medical corps to put in their dead-bag and the other to place in your mouth and then give you a smart kick in the chin to embed it into your skull for the corpse corps to later retrieve.

The last line of the form is imprinted with your religion. I put in "N/A". A few minutes later a personable old sergeant sat down on the bench next to me handing me back my form. He asked what religion my parents were? I replied Catholic. He said, "Write Roman Catholic on this form here son."

I argued the point but he was having none of it and leaned into my face to strongly spell it out for me. He told me in training and stateside duty I would be harassed by the NCO's and the Officers and constantly have the crap beat out of me by enlisted men. That if I were to end up in Vietnam, which was very likely, I would be shot by some good old Southern boy within a month. It was the first time I had heard the word "frag". It was a pretty compelling argument for a newbie, so I gave in and wrote "Roman Catholic" on the form. And being no dummy, if anyone wants to know my religion today, it is still Roman Catholic...

Previous article
Atheist SPC Jeremy Hall Denied Re-enlistment by Missing Major Paul Welborne

Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

New Rules with Bill Maher April 25



Last show of the season... Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart nails Sweet Talk John McCain



There is a real gem in the middle of this one! Don't miss it. Digg | Reddit | Stumble | Buzz it! | Email Article | Kick! Home

Jon Stewart Pennslyvania Primary 9.2!



The pundits said if she won by 10% she won! The Pundits said if she won by 9% she lost. WTF is a 9.2%??!!